First of all, sorry that this one came out a week late, I promise to catch up next week. Anyway, here we get to the long awaited Section 20! Ever wanted to know that exact words to say during a baptism that can never ever be altered? (Spoiler alert, they’re already altered) Or hear David stumble his way through a sacrament blessing? Well then you’re in for a good one. Oh yeah, and this is the longest episode this show has ever released (oops).
This one starts out a bit confusing as even the D&C itself can’t figure out when Section 19 was actually written (or should I say, “Revelated”). Then Christ goes into a full on rap battle, with himself. And of course, we learn how much god is ready to exquisitely punish Martin Harris if he doesn’t give Joe all his earthly possessions.
“Drink!” Count – 17
Around 3 beers
And thank you to everyone that voted for the show in the 2015 Brodie Awards! The show took the Brodie for “Best Scripture Study Blog/Site/Channel/Podcast“(two years in a row!)
God (or Jesus, still not sure which is which) gives some revelating to Joe, David, and Ollie, and basically tells them a bunch of stuff they should already know. Then they get some homework as they have to find 12 superheroes that are going to save all the souls of the earth. And as a final footnote, we find out that women will be allowed in heaven. Who knew?
“Drink!” Count – 14
About 2 and a half beers
And don’t forget to vote for the show for the 2015 Brodie Awards! My Book of Mormon Podcast has been nominated for two categories: Best Scripture Study Blog/Site/Channel/Podcast & Best Scripture-Study Piece. Voting ends on February 5, 2016, so don’t delay!
In this one, Joe starts getting the hang of ‘revelating’, and he starts handing out revelations to everyone like candy. The only problem is, he’s giving them all the same revelation (womp, womp). Then we get another mysterious chapter that magically appeared sometime after the original Book of Commandments was published. Let’s see if we can find out how or why it’s there!
For the first time ever, David and Bryce record live and in person! It’s so moving that even god cries! And, since it’s been a long time since you’ve gotten a “druken episode”, it felt like time to play along to the drinking game (WARNING: Probably unsafe to play along at home).
First, God takes out an insurance policy to proactively damn anyone that messes with those pesky 116 pages. Then, Jesus steps in and goes on and on with his heavenly caller ID until he messes up and makes a statement that proves beyond a doubt that everything we’re reading isn’t true!
“Drink!” Count – 51
Eight and a half beers!
And thanks to all the Mymos that contributed to the 24 Hour Broadcastaton for the Secular Student Alliance! My thanks to Dogma Debate for hosting such a great event every year. I’m honored to have been a part of it.
If you’d like to watch the video of the “Ex-Mormon Hour”, click the link below and skip to the 2-hour mark.
Poor ol’ Oliver. God gives him a gift, then snatches it away. I’m still not sure if he knows what he’s supposed to do. Also, we have some confusion about what the gift was in the first place. It was either some sort of rod, or a male human. See if you can figure it out!
For the 100th episode, we are joined by Chuck and Matt from the ‘Irreligiosophy‘ Podcast. Since they were kind enough to have me on as a guest when the show was just starting out, it was overdue to have them on. In this ‘revelation’ we learn that Oliver is quite gifted, and that’s about it. But there’s plenty of history packed into this one, along with plenty of drinking!
This one is almost 2 hours long (hopefully that’s a blessing and not a curse). It’s like 2 episodes in 1! Anyway, we start out with a message to Ol’ Joe’s dad, and then Martin Harris orders his own revelation from on-demand. And then we find out that the LDS church didn’t really like everything god originally told Joe and had to make some “updates”.
Breaking news! We have no officially added ‘Behold’ to the drinking game, which is just in time because without it there would have been no drinks in this whole episode! Section 2 comes and goes in a blink of an eye, and not much is said. Then we get Section 3 which is basically god scolding ol Joe for being stupid enough to lose 114 pages of his ‘sacred work’. Oh, and we also find out which auto insurance company god works for.
So, God is super pissed off at the humans in this one, but we never really figure out why. And we’re told to obey commandments, but sadly we’re given nothing about what those commandments are.
I’m back!! Sorry to all the Mymos for the long wait. But good news, I’m pleased to introduce the show’s new co-host: Bryce Blankenagel from the Naked Mormonism Podcast! I’m so happy to have him on-board!
In this episode Bryce and I unintentionally stumble across some major discrepancies between the original publication of the D&C and the most recent version. Then after a rather comical introduction, we follow Jesus on his tour of the US Northeast and then the Midwest, with some rather odd stops along the way (at one point Jesus is in prison?!?).
By popular demand, Roman is back! This time we tackle Lehi’s wild dreams, Nephi’s awesome ship building, and Roman even does a live test of the Liahona to see how well it works in real life!
THE FINAL EPISODE OF THE PRICEY PEARL! WOOT!! Basically what happens is that we learn about the checklist of insanity that every Mormon has to swear that they believe. I think there’s only one “article of faith” that I agreed with; the rest are either weird, inexplicable, confusing, or just plain hilarious.
David’s son Roman tackles the children’s version of The Book of Mormon, and he comes to some unique conclusions to describe what in the world is going on. By popular request, this has been made into a standalone episode. Please leave your comments if you’d like to hear more episodes like this. Enjoy!
WARNING: If you’ve already listened to Episodes 90 & 91, then you won’t find any new content here, this is just Part 1 and 2 compiled together as a standalone episode.
This starts off with a big copy/paste from Episode 1, but once we get through that the fun starts. God, the Holy Ghost, and John the Baptist all show up and start handing out priesthoods like candy. Then we get to meet some new characters like Martin, Oliver, the Professor, and Mary Ann (ok fine, not Mary Ann), and they’ve got some tales to tell too.
What could be more fun than listening to the young Joseph Smith whining about how much people picked on him for babbling on about visions? Well, maybe another clip of the very popular Roman taking a crack at the Book of Mormon Stories!
This one starts out with Ol’ Joe’s re-translation of a chapter of Matthew from the Bible. It’s pretty pointless, but we make it through. Then, we’re joined by a very special guest who makes everything so much more entertaining!
Yet another telling of the Genesis creation story, but this time with even more gods! Then thankfully we’re joined by Prophets Fat Joe and Lil Wayne to help finish up The Book of Abraham.
We finish up The Book of Moses and then jump right into The Book of Abraham. Oh, and there’s an Egyptian third grader’s art class homework in between. And sadly, the racism and misogyny just keeps getting layered on more and more.
Enoch gets whisked away to heaven and to watch the trailer for all of human existence, and it get’s really weird really fast. We get islands emerging from the sea, cities being lifted up to the heavens, mountains running away, rivers changing course, fires, floods and (and I swear I’m not making this up) giants! But then it takes mormon racism to a whole new level. So be prepared for some pretty hateful text, this chapter isn’t pretty.
So, we get to meet this slow talking seer guy named Enoch, who, it turns out, everybody hates. But Enoch doesn’t seem to care that much since his boyfriend is god (yeah, that’s kinda what it sounded like!). God decides to teach all those haters a lesson so he creates the one and only hell as a place to send them (that’ll teach em!). Then we jump back in time and some god spirit baptizes Adam and then tells him about how cool that Jesus dude is.
First we learn that Satan had a waaaaay better plan for the Earth than Jesus ever did. Next, Adam and Eve eat the forbidden fruit, but upon reflection, did they really have a choice? Then Cain kills Abel, but again, can you blame him? Then all of humanity turns against God, what a shocker.
We finally start The Pearl of Great Price, or as we now call it, The Pricey Pearl. So far, it’s pretty much just a long conversation that God has with Moses trying to convince him how awesome he is. And we get the creation story of Genesis told in painstaking detail. Oh, and Satan pops in to say hello.
The long awaited “final thoughts” of the Book of Mormon is here. I do my best attempt to abridge this abridged book, and then share my thoughts about the whole thing. Hopefully I made some sense along the way.
Well, this is it, we finally close the book on the Book of Mormon. But before we do, Moroni makes a bunch of questionable claims, and even gives us the famous “Moroni Promise”. We also learn about a little trick for how to render god completely powerless, and you’ll never guess how simple it is. Then it’s all done, and I decide to pray. Yes, that’s right, I pray…
But before all that John Dehlin joins me to talk about the new partnership for the Taylor Scholarship with the Open Stories Foundation. And you’ll also hear about my upcoming trip to Salt Lake City, Utah!
“Drink” Count – 4 (6 if you include the Dehlin drinks)
Just the one beer (or is it champagne?)
If you’d like to directly donate to the “new and improved” Taylor Scholarship, you can do so by clicking here
Almost done the book, but not quite yet. In this episode we learn about the gravest of all sins, baptising little children! Just thinking about it can send you straight to hell, so watch out. Then we hear about the pleasant living conditions in the Lamanite and Nephite prisoner of war camps. I’ll just put it this way, you’d be much better off to die in battle.
Not a ton of drinks in this one, but we do get a bonus shot!
This one starts out like a machine gun as we fly through the early chapters, which are basically Moroni’s “self-help” videos for how to do a bunch of Mormon stuff. Then Mormon takes the stage (yeah, he’s back somehow) and it just gets weird from there. Oh, and I worry a lot that this might be the last episode… Thankfully, it’s not.
We finish up The Book of Ether in this one, but it goes out with a bang! We also learn that Ether is nothing more than a cave dwelling babbling lunatic, that god likes practical jokes, and the those Jaradites just can’t turn down the opportunity for a good fight. Seriously, even the Jaradite babies get into the sword swinging action!
I think we finally come to the end of the pointless family drama, and none of it seemed to have a point. But then we get a real treat when Moroni apologizes to god for writing such a terrible book! But don’t worry, god tells him that anyone that mocks it is a fool (which I guess makes Moroni a fool tool since he was the first to admit how bad it was).
This one is full of good life lessons. First, a father pimps out his daughter (don’t worry, she actually asks him to). Then we learn to never, under any circumstances, belong to an organzation that has any secrets (God HATES that). Next we get more great parenting advice, namely how to starve a troublesome child to death. And we wrap it up by hearing all about the most violent family in history.
This one starts out with a bunch of Moroni preaching, but we soon get back to the action. First, we have the precarious (and likely pretty disgusting) ocean submarine voyage. Next we get some new family drama! Brother against brother, father against son, cousins killing each other, what else could you ask for?
“Drink” Count – 34
Close to six beers
And don’t forget to send some support to our friend Shaun at gofundme.com/r4t8g64
The long awaited “Book of Ether” is finally here! Frankly, it starts out a little slow, although some of the names are a bit funny. But then all the sudden it just happens… prehistoric people start building submarines! Its just amazing! I have to be honest, I’m starting to like this Book of Ether.
In this one, Moroni does his very best to try and convert me. And it’s a pretty impressive attempt, especially since he’s doing it from beyond the grave. Will he succeed? Will I finally stop dwindling in unbelief? You’ll have to listen to find out!
Well, it finally happened. The Nephites are all dead. Total genocide. I’m not sure who to blame either, it seemed to me like the Lamanites slaughtered them all, but Mormon is convinced that it was God that did the killing. Then good ol’ Moroni comes back, but he’s not nearly as fun as we remember him from Episode 1. Actually, he’s pretty racist, and quite a bit judgy.
This is the “back and forth” episode. Everyone is good, then everyone gets evil. God likes the Nephites, then God hates the Nephites. The Nephites are winning the war, the Lamanites are winning the war, then the Nephites get the upper hand, then the Lamanites…
If you’ve given up on Jesus because he was just too boring or confusing, then you’ve gotta listen to this one! No joke, he takes these three random dudes and turns them into pure awesomeness! Seriously, it’s hard to describe just how awesome these dudes are. You just have to listen for yourself.
Jesus keeps talking, and talking, and talking. It’s unclear whether or not he even understands what he’s talking about, but that doesn’t stop him for babbling on about it. Also, we learn that Jesus and the angel Moroni must hang out a lot because they both have the same habit of jumping back and forth between heaven and earth without any warning or explanation.
“Drink” Count – 34 (this includes the freebie after chapter 22)
Scott and David rack their brains for an hour trying to figure out what in the world Jesus is talking about. Sadly, I’m not sure if we even get close. Seriously though, has anyone been able to make sense of all this babbling? I don’t know how much longer Jesus is going to stick around, but it kinda feels like he’s outstayed his welcome.
“Drink” Count – 25 (this includes the 12 Verily’s)
So, Jesus says a bunch of random stuff about Jews and Gentiles, then he heals a bunch of people (isn’t that nice of him?), and then he pulls a magic trick and poofs back to heaven. But just when you thought we’d have to miss him forever, Jesus pops back in the next day. Who knows how long he’s going to stay this time?
“Drink” Count – 46 (this includes the 13 Verily’s)
If you’ve read the New Testament of the Bible, then I’m afraid there isn’t very much in this one in the way of new material. However, with his second stop on his world tour, Jesus does make a few tweaks to his act so you’d better be paying attention! And then Jesus teaches us that we should never ask god for anything (especially not food, water, or clothes), and then later he tells us that all we need to do is ask god and we will receive… So yeah, who knows?
“Drink” Count – 14 (this includes the 9 Verily’s)
Just a little over 2 beers (weak!)
And don’t forget to vote for the show for The 2014 Brodie Awards! As a reminder, the show has been nominated in two categories:
Back by very popular demand, Scott from My Biased Opinion joins us again to try and make sense of Jesus’ ramblings. We are then given a surprise visit by none other than the great Adam Reakes from The Herd Mentality Podcast, where we get a sneak peek at his latest audio masterpiece. Which is good, because we need something to entertain us while Jesus goes on and on trying to finish his second performance of the sermon on the mount.
“Drink” Count – 19 (this includes the 14 Verily’s)
Just a little over 3 beers
And don’t forget to nominate the show for The Annual Podcast Awards! As a reminder, the show is competing for “Peoples Choice” as well as the “Religion Inspiration” category. Just copy and paste:
This one starts off with mormon god bragging about all the people he just burned, drowned, buried alive, etc. I get a little pissed (well, maybe a little more than a little) and I let god know how I feel about him and his murderous rampage. But things take a turn for the better because our boy Jesus shows up! But I hope you didn’t have very high expectations, because there seems to be something wrong with his head.
“Drink” Count – 25
Just a little over 4 beers
And don’t forget to vote for the show at The Annual Podcast Awards! As a reminder, the show is competing for “Peoples Choice” as well as the “Religion Inspiration” category. Just copy and paste:
Things start out a little boring as everyone is finally living in peace. But we don’t have to wait long before Satan comes in and starts messing with everyone and turning them back to the dark side. And just when you think things can’t get any worse, Jesus goes and gets himself killed on the other side of the planet which (for some reason) causes the most horrific natural disasters you could imagine to afflict the Americas. I’m actually not really sure if anyone actually survived.
In this episode we’re joined by Scott from the My Biased Opinion blog. And together we read about all the robbers getting senselessly slaughtered, but good news, anyone that survived the carnage is now good and righteous! Then this mysterious figure named Mormon shows up and starts claiming that he’s been writing this book the whole time. How is that even possible?
“Drink” Count – 23
Almost 4 beers
And don’t forget to check out Scott’s awesome blog My Biased Opinion
We start out with the “bright as noon day” night to tell us that the big man Jesus himself was finally born, yet somehow a bunch of those Nephites and Lamanites remain as stiffnecked as ever. Then those Gadianton robbers offer a truce, but the Lord’s people choose to fight rather than surrender! The stage is set for an epic battle!
“Drink” Count – 38
A little over 6 beers
And here’s the “Thank You” that all the Mymo’s received from Dale McGowan, Ph.D., Exec. Director of Foundation Beyond Belief
For our 60th episode, we are joined by Philip Wells from SAB Books who is in the process of writing The Skeptic’s Annotated Book of Mormon. And then we get back into Helaman where we learn about some incredible astronomical and meteorological phenomenon that supposedly occurred in the America’s during the birth and death of Jesus. Oh, and then zombies get referenced again, but once again we don’t really get any good zombie details.
God gives Nephi a ton of superhero powers, and Nephi decides to use them to starve thousands of people to death. What a great guy! And then we learn how much god thinks we’re all pretty much useless. I’m not gonna lie, this one is a bit depressing.
In this one Nephi v2.0 gets on his prayer tower, which sounds an awful lot like one of those evil Nehor towers, or maybe he’s a Muslim, who knows. He then lives up to his namesake by telling everyone how evil they are and then prophecies about the new Chief Judge getting murdered, or did he plot the murder himself? What a conspiracy!
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My Book of Mormon 
March 7, 2016
27 Comments