Click to Listen: Episode 62: 3 Nephi 4-5
In this episode we’re joined by Scott from the My Biased Opinion blog. And together we read about all the robbers getting senselessly slaughtered, but good news, anyone that survived the carnage is now good and righteous! Then this mysterious figure named Mormon shows up and starts claiming that he’s been writing this book the whole time. How is that even possible?
“Drink” Count – 23
Almost 4 beers
![1f37b[1]](https://mybookofmormonpodcast.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/1f37b1-e1405272752631.png)
And don’t forget to check out Scott’s awesome blog My Biased Opinion
My Book of Mormon 
January 23, 2015 at 5:52 am
So that no one has to go to the trouble of reading “Words of Mormon” all over again, I’ll give a brief synopsis of what’s going on with Mormon and his abridgement.
After arriving in America, Nephi was commanded by God to make a set of plates, and write a record. And Nephi did, and it contained the record of his father, Lehi, and the more part of their proceedings in the wilderness, and a bunch of genealogy, and all kinds of historical stuff. Possibly as many as four female names, we don’t know! And Nephi called these plates “the plates of Nephi”.
Some time later, God commanded Nephi to make another set of plates. And Nephi said, “Why, Lord?” And God did say, “Mind your own damn business, Nephi!” And Nephi said, “Come on, tell me.” And God said, “Dude, just trust me. I have a Wise Purpose in this thing. You think I would just give you busy work to do? Other than those 8 years of wandering around the Arabian Peninsula, I mean?” So Nephi made a second set of plates, and upon these he wrote of his nagging ministry, and the things of his soul, which were mostly a buttload of direct quotations from Isaiah. And Nephi called these plates “the plates of Nephi”.
That being not the least bit confusing, the “Brief Explanation About The Book of Mormon”, found at the end of the Introduction, superfluously refers to the first plates as the Large Plates of Nephi, and the second plates as the Small Plates of Nephi. As if we needed help…
The Large Plates were passed down all the way until the time of Mormon, hundreds of years after the coming of Jesus, and because such a tome would have been even more ergonomically uncomfortable (hat tip to Scott) than the Book of Mormon as we have it, Mormon set about to abridge the record into something more manageable, and more focused on ramblings about Christ, for to convert Jew and Gentile, and on his plates Mormon couldn’t even write a hundredth part (!!!) of what the Large Plates of Nephi apparently contained.
And it came to pass that Mormon, after going along abridging the Large Plates for a while, realized he also had the Small Plates in his possession. And Mormon said, “How did I ever miss these? For verily, they are totally awesome!” This second set of plates had been passed down from Nephi, to Jacob, to Enos, to Jarom, to Omni, to Omni’s loser posterity who only contributed a verse or two each. But to give them the benefit of the doubt, “the plates are small”, and they probably were out of room by that point. And Mormon loved these Small Plates so much, that he tacked them into the Book of Mormon without abridging them.
And thus we see why the books of 1 Nephi through Omni are written in first-person by the namesakes of those books, and all subsequent books so far have Mormon as a third-person narrator. But what happened to Mormon’s abridgement of everything on the Large Plates that happened before the Book of Mosiah? Why, Joseph Smith translated it into 116 pages of manuscript, which Martin Harris famously lost. And so in these latter days we behold the secret Wise Purpose for which THE LARD did command Nephi to make a second set of plates, for in his omniscience, he knew that thousands of years later, Martin Harris would mess everything up, and Joseph Smith would need a major ret-con… err, miracle, to get himself out of that bind.
[End of “brief synopsis”]
January 23, 2015 at 4:59 pm
Dude… mind blown! Is this really what people believe? Like, TBM’s would read everything you just wrote and nod? Really?!?
January 23, 2015 at 5:39 pm
If you’re really interested to see what Mormons believe, I recommend you read through this Student Manual. This is what we used in Book of Mormon class at BYU and in other Mormon Institutes. There are definitely some gems in it, but it also does a good job of clarifying some of these confusing points about plates and authorship and such.
Click to access book-of-mormon-student-manual_eng.pdf
Lots of spoilers throughout, though, so wait until you’re done with your read-through. Perhaps add an episode or two where you read through some of it. Listeners would be sure to enjoy hearing you come across some of the doctrine for the first time.
January 23, 2015 at 9:21 pm
Yes, TBM’s would absolutely nod. It’s a testimony to them that God’s plan cannot be thwarted by anyone — not even Martin Harris’s wife (often the person blamed given she was the one who insisted on seeing their translation work product).
But there are couple of additional “miracles” (ahem) that aren’t discussed in church.
Miracle #1: Mormon Temporarily Halts Abridging the Large Plates at Generally the Same Point Martin Harris Would Lose the 113 pages.
Words of Mormon verse 3 reads, “And now, I speak somewhat concerning that which I have written; for after I had made an abridgment from the plates of Nephi, down to the reign of this king Benjamin, of whom Amaleki spake, I searched among the records which had been delivered into my hands, and I found these plates, which contained this small account of the prophets, from Jacob down to the reign of this king Benjamin, and also many of the words of Nephi.”
This says that Mormon found the redundant small plates of Nephi after abridging a portion of the large plates of Nephi up to King Benjamin. In particular, Mormon had been abridging the large plates of Nephi (which ended up as the 116 pages lost by Martin Harris) and stopped abridging the Large plates, **for no stated reason**, to search his presumably vast collection of non-large-plates-of-Nephi plates. And when he does search this collection of non-large-plates-of-Nephi plates, he finds the small plates of Nephi (which would eventually serve as a replacement all of his abridgment of the large plates of Nephi up to that point, i.e. the 116 pages). THEN, after conducting this search of non-large-plates-of-Nephi plates, Mormon immediately writes about finding the small plates and says, in the Words of Mormon, that he’s going to include them at the end of his record and then goes back to abridging the Large plates again.
What a miracle! Mormon temporarily stopped abridging at generally the same point Martin Harris would lose the 113 pages, provided the “Words of Mormon” immediately after where the 113 pages left off (which would provide a nice transition between the small plates and his remaining abridgment of the large plates), and then returned to abridging the Large plates as if nothing ever happened.
Miracle #2 The Small Plates Run Out Immediately Where The Words of Mormon Starts
Mormon said he would put the small plates with the rest of his abridgment of the large plates. See Words of Mormon verse 6 (“I shall take these plates, which contain these prophesyings and revelations, and put them with the remainder of my record.”). Consequently, the small plates (representing 1st Nephi through Omni) were the last portions of the book translated by Joseph Smith. So the miracle is that, as Joseph Smith was wrapping up his translation of the small plates and thus the Book of Mormon as a whole, the writers of the small plates ran out of space at the same time period that Mormon began abridging the stuff that wasn’t part of the lost 116 pages. See Omni verse 30 (“these plates are full”). Isn’t it a miracle that the writers of Omni were hauling ass and discussing huge chunks of years at a time so that they could run out right where Mormon started again?!!?
Anyway, these two miracles/coincidences aren’t mentioned in the Church, perhaps because some miracles aren’t faith promoting.
January 23, 2015 at 9:33 pm
Well, TBMs would agree with basically everything I said, but they would heartily disapprove of my tone.
February 1, 2015 at 12:36 am
So there seems to be some confusion about the attire of the Gidgetite warriors. I’ll take the liberty of passing along the following Gidgetite haiku which may help clarify things:
We’re too sexy for nephite loincloths,
Too sexy for lamanite briefs,
We’re rockin’ sheepskin Mankinis,
Check ’em out Man,
They give us the Power
Of the RAM!!
If it’s still confusing try to picture those Minnesota Viking football fans with the horns on the helmet up top and the sheepskin mankini down below………..
January 23, 2015 at 6:44 am
OMG…I loved this episode. MORE SCOTT and birthday drinks !!!!
January 23, 2015 at 2:55 pm
Gid-gid-oh-nigh was how I learned it in childhood, but Scott’s rendition is HILARIOUS!
Thank you for pointing out that the hunter-gatherers did fine with eating meat and wild plants for thousands of years.
The other absurdity I’m noticing is that the robbers should have just gone somewhere ELSE instead of hanging out by the Nephite city being all hungry and getting chopped down. They DIDN’T have to stay there, they had legs, they could find a place with more animals to eat. Why did this large group of robbers lose their ability to farm? They had huge portions of fallow land they could use because the Nephites were holed up in their city. There isn’t a mention of some sort of curse on the land, it’s just fallow.
I agree with Amy, more Scott as a guest! This episode was hilarious!
January 23, 2015 at 4:30 pm
Thank you to all for the kind comments. David and I had a blast recording, and I’m just glad to hear it wasn’t a disaster. Also, thank you for the patience as I butchered through so much of the reading! What a great community, sincerely.
January 25, 2015 at 8:53 am
I think you totally should own “Giggity-giggity” as a new nickname, as least among the mymos. It could be like a professional wrestling name – Scott “Giggity-Giggity” Henderson. (I have no idea what your surname is).
January 24, 2015 at 1:23 am
On American Exceptionalism, and Bibical Prophecy
When listening to your podcast I had a vision:
And It came to pass, there is David and Scott marching with confidant swagger, silhouetted by the setting sun to the north or east, I could see the glint of the armor and flash of the the sword, I could hear the clash of great forces recounted by the thousands, guided by The Hand of Mormon, seeking for a sign looking for someone to lead needing someone to follow, and the words pour forth to exasperate the stiff-necked and exaggerate the befuddled seeking belief before understanding. The clarity of the event in my mind’s eye is indelible. Mormon Clarity of mind seems baked into the paradigm but what the heck, it’s Mormonism –– thank god there is a record of all these events else we’d be deprived of our unique and peculiar grasp on Bibical Prophecy.
Perhaps Mormon Bibical Scripture is forgettable after all –– I can’t remember.
January 25, 2015 at 1:33 am
Gigiddy-gigiddy!
February 4, 2015 at 6:00 am
Can’t wait for the next episode with Scott. As for those robbers I have had them explained to me as what conspiracy nuts think of the Illuminati or the Masons, with a bandit wing, combined with a protection racket, all rapped up with wealthy robber barons pulling the strings. Just the other day in Elders quorum they were speculating about the modern day Gadianton robbers, and to my befuddlement not only do they believe they exist they decided Obama was its leader and founder.