June 24, 2017

0 Comments

Episode 164: D&C 64 – Section 88, Part 1

Episode 164: D&C 64 – Section 88, Part 1

Live show: July 29, 7pm at Squatter’s in Salt Lake City

Zion gets built up by… honestly, we’re not sure. God is everywhere, god is light, god will fill you. The earth shall die, it will be born again, and the righteous will inherit it. Kirtland = Outer Darkness. Once you die you’ll understand all this, so don’t worry about understanding it now.

16 drinks + 1 shot for For, For, so about three full beverages.

Inara Serra is a character from my favorite TV show of all time, Firefly.

Patron bonus episode: Marie reviews the Missionary Handbook

Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast
Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com
Podcastriarchal blessing: Clan FiberEnabler
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

Continue reading...

June 17, 2017

5 Comments

Episode 163: D&C 63 – Section 87

Episode 163: D&C 63 – Section 87

Read along with us at JoelAKuhn.com/dc-compare

First, a discussion of an apologist view of why chapter 84 isn’t a false prophesy. Second, Joseph predicts a civil war, as well as a plague and an earthquake. Does this make him a prophet? Ehhhhhh…….. probably not.
Read every apologetic Mormon argument ever at FairMormon.com
Read listener Scott’s commentary on Chapter 84 at http://3scriptures.com/
Presidential is a fabulous history podcast by Lillian Cunningham of the Washington Post

Fair Mormon explanation of Joseph’s temple revelation from chapter 84

Drink count – 6, or about 1 beer

Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast
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Podcastriarchal blessing: Stephen A.
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

June 10, 2017

5 Comments

Episode 162: D&C 62 – Sections 85 and 86

Episode 162: D&C 62 – Sections 85 and 86

Joseph’s new scribe has a completely different tone, and it’s boring. The United Firm is kinda sorta failing at managing money on account of them never having enough money. If you don’t give your properties/monies to the church then you will be cut off from heaven. It’s the episode where Babylon is a total whore.

Drink count – 11, or about a beer and a half

Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/

Patron Bonus Episode: Our evolving opinions of religion. Marie and Bryce muse about how their views on Mormonism have changed since they started this podcasting adventure. For the good? For the bad???

Bad Religion is a band that did a song called 21st Century Boy

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Podcastriarchal blessing: Jack M.
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

June 3, 2017

1 Comment

Episode 161: D&C 61 – Section 84 Part 2

Episode 161: D&C 61 – Section 84 Part 2

Live show at Squatters Pub in SLC at 7pm on Saturday, July 29, 2017. Check the Facebook page for more details as it comes available.

Your job as a high priest is to recruit more people. True believers are are not bound by sin will have superpowers! Bryce was an idiot and got bitten by a snake. The gospel applies to everyone from Sept. 22, 1832 forward!!! As you go out on your missions, go without food or supplies because God will make you invincible and always provided for. Make sure you leave your money behind. While on your mission, if you find a newer missionary or a helper, give them all your grunt work.

Drink count – 12, or about 2 beers

Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/

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May 27, 2017

1 Comment

Episode 160: D&C 60, Section 84 Part 1

Episode 160: D&C 60, Section 84, part 1

Viva la priesthood! Women not invited. Basically an influx of new members are increasing the need for middle management. Additionally, here are some specific revelations included that didn’t come true or are contradictory.

1. The new city of Zion will be built in the Temple Lot.
2. It will happen in this generation (the 1832 generation).
3. No one will pollute Jackson County.

Drink count – 5, or a little less than one beer

Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/

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Podcastriarchal blessing: Mindy M
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

May 20, 2017

8 Comments

Episode 159: D&C 59 – Sections 81, 82, 83

Episode 159: D&C 59 – Sections 81, 82, 83

July 29, 2017 eveningish, meet up with us at Squatter’s Pub in Salt Lake City. We’ll probably record a live episode and would love to have you there!!

Jesse Gause is called to be a high counselor to Joseph Smith in his very own revelation, except then history is rewritten to make it be a revelation for Frederick G Williams. Joseph’s inner circle is back, now with nicknames! Everyone is exceedingly sinful/steadfastly good. Go get more converts, especially ones with money. Zion needs to pretty itself up. It’s the episode where Marie and Bryce rant about the
Prosperity Doctrine.

Jesse Gause

Frederick G Williams 

Check out the Symonds Ryder name-spelling controversy here.

Jim and Tammy Bakker were televangelists back in the late 1980’s.

Lwaxana Troi is a character in Star Trek: The Next Generation and Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.

Drink count – 16, or about two and a half beers

Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/

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Podcastriarchal blessing: Laurel K.
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

May 13, 2017

6 Comments

Episode 158: D&C 58 – Sections 78, 79, 80

Episode 158: D&C 58 – Sections 78, 79, 80

Help us make the 1876 D&C into something usable! Email Joel Kuhn at dccompare@gmail.com to help with the proofreading. Thanks!

The poor are established (built up, not created) via the United Firm. This is a fancy way to say the church is setting up a welfare system for members of the church.

Joseph revelates himself into a nickname, and maybe a city? You must be equal here on earth to get equal things in heaven (except some people are MORE equal). If you want to get into heaven make sure you’re doing all the things you’re  supposed to down here. Joseph and his peeps get code names. CODE NAMES (omg). Adam-on-diamon is a place where the big wigs give their keys to Jesus via Adam, who will usher in the end times.

Jared Carter
Stephen Burnett
Eden Smith

Hearts Made Glad, by LaMar Peterson – An book by and LDS historian that asserted Joseph Smith’s propensity to alter his mind. A lot.

Welfare Square

Dante’s Inferno

God Awful Movies – The Burning Hell 

Salt: A World History

Drink count – 12, or about two beers

Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/

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Podcastriarchal blessing: Philip S.
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

May 6, 2017

0 Comments

Patron Bonus: The Afterlife (Commentary on Section 76)

Listen to the episode here.

We had such a deluge of astonishingly thorough and informative comments on Section 76 that we made a separate bonus episode just to review them. Thank you so much, everyone!

Read all the comments here:

D&C 76, Part 1

D&C 76, Part 2

There’s a bonus patron-only episode that happens every week over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast! It’s available to every patron, regardless of donation level. You can also snag some sweet, sweet swag, like drink coasters and pint glasses.

May 6, 2017

3 Comments

Episode 157: D&C 57 – Section 77

Episode 157: D&C 57 – Section 77

Let’s get spiritual! Joseph answers our questions about the Book of Revelation (the
bible one) by not answering anything.

Read about the 1876 addition to the D&C here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doctrine_and_Covenants#Sections_added_to_LDS_edition

Christopher Walken was the Archangel Gabriel in the movie The Prophecy.
Rot your brain with tribulation fan-fiction by reading the Left Behind series.

Smoke count – 2 (or however much you need to get spiritual)

Drink count – 3

Read along with us at JoelAKuhn.com/dc-compare

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Podcastriarchal blessing: Sean S
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

April 29, 2017

21 Comments

Episode 156: D&C 56 – Section 76, Part 2

Episode 156: D&C 56 – Section 76 Part 2

Study manual for Chapter 76 on the LDS site! 

Telestial: HELL!!!! But temporary.
Terrestrial: For good people who weren’t Mormon when they died but haven’t heard “the law” and weren’t baptised
Celestial: Double plus awesome
Outer Darkness: Not a thing that exists (yet)

The Laser Interferometer Gravitational-Wave Observatory (LIGO) is a large-scale physics experiment and observatory to detect cosmic gravitational waves and to develop gravitational-wave observations as an astronomical tool.

Esaias is Isaiah!

Mark Twain called reading The Book of Mormon “chloroform in print

Drink count  – 4

Read along with us at JoelAKuhn.com/dc-compare

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Podcastriarchal blessing: Mindy
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

April 22, 2017

13 Comments

Episode 155: D&C 55 – Section 76, Part 1

Episode 155: D&C 55 – Section 76, Part 1

What happens to us when you die? Resurrection 1 – good people. Resurrection 2 – bad people. Lucifer is bad and is now in hell. Punctuation is terrible, almost as terrible as apostacy!! Marie and Bryce will be there, drinking coffee, ruling alongside Lucifer, and wondering about why their worm is dead. The good people (men) are of the Church of the Firstborn and become (men) gods. All ur stuff r belong to Christ. Christ is middle management to God, so all ur stuff r belong to God.

Drink count – 4  (lame, do shots instead)

Read along with us at JoelAKuhn.com/dc-compare

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Podcastriarchal blessing: Julie B.
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

April 15, 2017

7 Comments

Episode 154: D&C 54 – Section 75

Episode 154: D&C 54 – Section 75

Correction! Cleveland was never the capital of Ohio. At this point in history it was Columbus. 

Have fun in sales! Everyone is a vineyard. It’s a throwback to last June when everyone was being sent out to be like a trump unto the wilderness. Bryce almost has an aneursym because he wants to tell me all about these dudes who are about to do stuff in the church, but NO, NO SPOILERS. After you die you
get to judge the people who treated you poorly!!!

Drink count – 11 (a little over a beer)

Check out this fine list of Wikipedia page links:

William E McLellan – He wrote lots of journals 
Luke Johnson – Brother of Lyman Johnson
Orson Hyde – Used to be anti-Mormon, then converted when his pastor, Sidney Rigdon joined up with Joseph Smith 
Samuel Smith – Joseph Smith’s younger brother
Lyman Johnson – Brother of Luke Johnson
Orson Pratt – Joined the same time as his brother, Parley Pratt 
Asa Dodds – Just a dude. 
Calves Wilson – “Little else is known about him” 
Major Ashley – From Massachusetts!
Burr Riggs – Known for frothing at the mouth and getting revelations by hitting his head against the wall.
Simeon Carter – Farmer! 
Emer Harris – Just a dude
Ezra Thayer – Built bridges, dams, and mills, from Palmyra
Thomas B Marsh – An original member from way back in the way back
Hiram Smith – Joseph Smith’s brother 
Reynolds Cahoon – Just a dude (for now)
Daniel Stanton – Just a dude.
Seymore Brudson – Junest a dude (for now)
Sylvester Smith – Bryce really likes him in 1834. In 1832, not really of note.
Gideon Carter – Just a dude.
Ruggles Eames – Just a dude. Not a teddy bear.
Steven Burnett – Just a dude.
Micah B Welton – Just a dude.
Eden Smith – Just dude.

Stephen Hawking threw a party for time travellers.

Read all about the discovery of caffeine here: Coffee!!!! 

Patron Bonus: Stop Touching Yourself!!!! (a review of BYU Idaho anti-masturbation campaign)

Read along with us at JoelAKuhn.com/dc-compare
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Podcastriarchal blessing: Jay M
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

April 8, 2017

1 Comment

Episode 153.5: An unplanned week off

Episode 153.5: And unplanned week off

In which Marie has a brief discussion of the time jump in section 74 back to 1830.  Yeah, it’s an unplanned week off.  We’ll be back next week with a regular episode.

April 1, 2017

7 Comments

Episode 153: D&C 53 – Sections 73 and 74

Episode 153: D&C 53 – Sections 73 and 74

Read along with us at Joelakuhn.com/dc-compare

The PR problem caused by Ezra Booth’s anti-Mormon shenanigans have died down, so now it’s time to return to what you were doing. Joseph and Sidney are to go back to translating the bible. Then we jump back in time to 1830 to talk about baptism (sort of). Did you know that circumcision and baptism are kinda sorta related? Bring on the Baptist perspective!
Drink count – 5, or barely a beer if you take huge swigs

Patreon Bonus Episode – My dad talks about baptism for the dead.

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Podcastriarchal blessing: Jefferson D
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

March 25, 2017

4 Comments

Episode 152: D&C 52 – Sections 71 and 72 (Feat. Jim Van Heel)

Episode 152: D&C 52 – Sections 71 and 72 (Feat. Jim Van Heel)

Ezra Booth has caused a public image problem by publishing a bunch of anti-Mormon letters in the local newspapers. Joseph decides to solve this by sending out his followers to get more followers. Newel K. Whitney is called to be a bishop! It’s a bit different than Edward Partridge, who is bishop over all the money and the belongings. Newel is mostly keeping the meeting minutes?

Joseph heavily implies that everyone should keep a journal, which is a problem since apparently general authorities kinda don’t. Methinks section 72 is the genesis of modern day recommends…

Be advised that Jim has watched every episode of The Bachelor this season.

Read the story of one woman married to seven brothers here in both Matthew and Luke.

Catherine of Alexandria was a Catholic saint who was aces at converting people to Christianity.

Patron-only Bonus Episode: Jim tells Marie all about whatever happened to Joseph Smiths’ translation of the Bible, in part because Marie couldn’t figure out why it would be such an expensive purchase on Amazon.

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Podcastriarchal blessing: Catherine C
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

March 18, 2017

4 Comments

Episode 151: D&C 51 – Sections 69 and 70

Episode 151: D&C 51 – Sections 69 and 70

Bryce is going on a road trip! Drop him a line at nakedmormonism@gmail.com if you live near a major Mormon historical site. He’d love to meet you!

Chapter 69 is a tangible revelation with a measurable result, and measurable results were achieved!!!!! Oliver Cowdery needs a chaperone on his trip to Zion while holding all of the church’s money and revelations, John Whitmer is now designated as gopher/church historian. Chapter 70 is all about giving your excess to the bishop’s church, kind of, but in reality we aren’t quite sure what it’s saying. #equality

Newel K Whitney becomes a bishop in basically the next chapter. Priestcraft is mentioned in the Book of Mormon, but since David didn’t know about it, I didn’t know about it.

Drink count – 7, or about one beer

Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/

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March 11, 2017

11 Comments

Episode 150: Marie and Marissa go to Mormon Church

Episode 150: Marie and Marissa go to Mormon church

Marie goes to church for the first time in years and makes her friend Marissa experience the adventure with her.  Then there is ice cream.

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Learn more about the Pussyhat at https://www.pussyhatproject.com/

Smash the Patriarchy decals can be purchased on Etsy from SlapYourLlama

Knitpicks is one of the pillars of the knitting community and where I buy most of my non-independent yarn. Find them at www.Knitpicks.com, unless you’re from Scotland, because they don’t ship to Scotland.

Douglas Adams was a brilliant writer who left us too soon. Read about his amazing
stories at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Douglas_Adams

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March 4, 2017

10 Comments

Episode 149: D&C 50 – Section 68

Episode 149: D&C 50 – Section 68

Use the new search function when reading along with us at JoelAKuhn.com/dc-compare!

Is there an immortal beings club that meets every couple of hundred years? Joseph revelates himself into a feedback loop w/r/t the bishopric. Four of Joe’s buddies get revelations, then Joe tells us all about how power structures work in the church. Are revelations personal, or are we mouthpieces of god if we feel good about it whatever we’re saying? Marie and Bryce practice their “smooth” voices.

The Simple Dog head tilt is a reference to the comic Hyperbole and a Half

Wikipedia Links:
Orson Hyde
Luke S. Johnson
Lyman E. Johnson
William E. McLellin

Lehi’s family tree is delightfully non-specific. Check it out on the LDS main site.
https://www.lds.org/new-era/2004/01/lehis-family-tree?lang=eng

Opening Arguments is a highly entertaining and informative legal podcast that discusses (among many other things) immunity from prosecution. Give ’em a listen at http://openargs.com/.

Drink Count – 3, so why even bother?

Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast
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Podcastriarchal blessing: MarsGirl
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

February 25, 2017

4 Comments

Episode 148: D&C 49 – Section 67

Episode 148: D&C 49 – Section 67

In today’s episode of victim-blaming, it’s still always your fault. Ezra Booth’s anti-Mormon writings have begun appearing in local newspapers! Trust in Joseph anyway, because REASONS. Marie asserts her complete lack of humility, Bryce experiences the spirit of god when listening to heavy metal.

Read the LDS churches’ explanation about D&C revisions/adjustments at
https://www.lds.org/scriptures/adjustments?lang=eng

Foundation Beyond Belief https://foundationbeyondbelief.org/

Drink count – 6 (or barely one beer)

Find everything you’ve ever wanted to know about the show over at www.mybookofmormonpodcast.com

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Podcastriarchal blessing: Todd and Madeline
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

February 18, 2017

3 Comments

Episode 147: D&C 48 – Sections 65 and 66

Episode 147: D&C 48 – Sections 65 and 66

We learn how to pray without learning many, if any, specifics of how to pray. William McLellin hands us a PRIME example to prove Joseph’s prophetic powers by asking for answers to five questions without telling Joseph what those questions were. Joseph gives the most vague of vague answers, Williams tells everyone his questions were answered, and we *never find out what the questions were*.

Listen to Bryce’s trilogy on Mark Hofmann here.
Foolish Virgins are explained here.
For Thine Is The Kingdom is a hymn found in the Baptist Hymnal 1991 #659

Drink count – 10, or a little over one beer

Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/
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Podcastriarchal blessing: Bobby M.
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

February 11, 2017

3 Comments

Episode 146: D&C 47 – Section 64

Episode 146: D&C 47 – Section 64

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^^^^^^Marie’s ever-expanding Mormon Library is full of white dudes looking up towards the sky.

Edward Partridge gets micromanaged, Isaac Morley is forgiven, Kirtland will be a thing for five more years (false!), Sidney Gilbert can keep his store, God hates Babylon, and Ezra Booth needs to STFU. Now get back to packing!

Click here to read about Ezra Booth

Click here to read about Isaac Morley

Drink count – 20, or around three beers

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Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/
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Podcastriarchal blessing: Craig P.
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

 

February 4, 2017

14 Comments

Episode 145: D&C 46 – Section 63, Part 2

Episode 145: D&C 46 – Section 63, Part 2

Sex, Money, and Zombies, as told by Joseph Smith’s Twitter Feed

“Totes found #Zion! Come 2 Missouri ASAP. #KirtlandRevelation”
“Everyone 2 #Zion! (not whoremongers, scorcerers, adulterers) #PromisedLand  monogamy4life ”
“Buy ur land in #Zion 2 b #blessed.”
“If ur wicked God will use unquenchable fire. SAD. #destroyed #smite”
“Send ur money to #Zion if u want eternal salvation. #reward #afterlife”
“1st Res. be a twinkle of an eye, live in ur prime! #notzombies”
“#foolishvirgins JUST SAY NO”
“S. Rigdon bad at plat of #Zion, god wants do-over.”
“CONDEMN CONDEMN CONDEMN #apostate”

Drink count – 22, or about 3 beers

99% Invisible is an amazing podcast that did an episode on why Salt Lake City’s street grid is so delightfully unique. Give it a listen at http://99percentinvisible.org/episode/plat-of-zion/

Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/
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Podcastriarchal blessing: Duke of Earl Grey
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

January 28, 2017

2 Comments

Episode 144: D&C 45 – Sections 62 and 63 Part 1

Episode 144: D&C 45 – Sections 62 and 63 Part 1

Should we do a Mormon Awful Movies for our Patrons?

Which host on the NPR Politics Podcast is Mormon? I didn’t have time to go back and find out.

62: Joseph phones it in with a quick revelation to some of his peeps who happened to walk by, because they get to keep doing what they’re doing while his inner circle remains destined to travel upon cursed waters.

63: God is in a bad mood and will smack you down if you’re bad. Also, you shouldn’t need a sign/tangible proof to believe in god, because you’ll only get a sign if you already believe.

Drink count – 12, or heading towards most of two beers

Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/
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Podcastriarchal blessing: Dean S (the Canadian)
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

January 21, 2017

3 Comments

Episode 143: D&C 44 – Section 61

Episode 143: D&C 44 – Section 61

In the most hydrating revelation yet, Joseph has a boating accident. Here’s hoping you don’t drown from imperfect faith! It’s the episode where Bryce and Marie are unable to remember what verse they’re on.

Drink Count – 15, or about 2 beers

Alan Watts – The Earth is “People-ing”
The Pink Papaya Shop created a whole series of watercolors called “The Wives of Joseph Smith”

Support HereticWoman’s show, Beyond The Trailer Park, at https://www.patreon.com/BeyondtheTrailerPark

Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/
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Podcastriarchal blessing: HereticWoman
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

January 14, 2017

9 Comments

Episode 142: D&C 43 – Section 60

Episode 142: D&C 43 – Section 60

Poor Edward Partridge can’t catch a break, what with all the micromanagement. Joseph, Oliver, and Sidney (Rigdon) are on their way to Cincinnati, while his other buddies are sent to St. Louis. They’re all instructed to make haste while not speedily returning, and somehow God’s jewels are involved.

Drink count – 6
Eth count – 4

The Pink Papaya Shop created a whole series of watercolors called The Wives of Joseph Smith

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Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/
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Podcastriarchal blessing: Bevin F
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

January 7, 2017

7 Comments

Episode 141: D&C 42 – Section 59 (feat. Jim Van Heel)

Episode 141: D&C 42 – Section 59 (feat. Jim Van Heel)

Jim teaches us the hierarchical structure of the church because Marie doesn’t know what a General Authority is, and be advised that Duke of Earl Grey is now the show’s General Authority (woo hoo!). Joseph Smith repeats a semblance of the 10 commandments, and really that’s it. Turns out going to the Bishop to confess is a Thing that happens, and apparently we’re supposed to be happy when we’re fasting. It’s bad to be wasteful and don’t be a jerk, and be an environmentalist. Got questions? Scoot, god doesn’t have time for them.

Job is a man/chapter in the Bible.

I swear I learned a song in Sunday School that used the verse “love the lord thy god with all they heart”, but I couldn’t find one with a familiar tune, so really all I did was royally mess up my YouTube video recommendations. I recommend listening to anything from Chvrches, they’re pretty cool, and you can say “I’m listening to Chvrch music!”

Drink count – 10, or a bit over one beer

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Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/
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Podcastriarchal blessing: Anna F
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

December 31, 2016

0 Comments

Episode 140: D&C 41 – Section 58, Part 2

Episode 140: D&C 41 – Section 58, Part 2

Ask not what the church can do for you, but what you can do for your church. If you need a revelation from god to tell you what to do, woe betide you, for you are slothful. For shame! Cross your fingers that all new revelations supersede previous ones, so we all hope that this one no longer matters because Joseph Smith is hypocritical all over the place.

Ziba Peterson did all sorts of hanging after he left the church.

Andrew Torrez is a lawyer who co-hosts Opening Arguments along with Thomas Smith. If anyone knows about the intricacies of superseding, he does. Go listen to his show!

Authorship attribution, which is mildly confusing because it’s not by the chapters as they’re published today, it’s by the chapters as it was originally published. Thanks for confusing us all, publishers!

boc-authors

Drink count – 13, plus one extra drink for tomfoolery in revelatory contradictions, and one extra drink for “and bring to pass”

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Read along with us at joelakuhn.com/dc-compare
Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast
Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com
Podcastriarchal blessing: Nathaniel B
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length

December 17, 2016

3 Comments

Episode 139: D&C 40 – Section 58, part 1

Episode 139: D&C 40 – Section 58, part 1

Patriarchal blessings – how do they work?
Punctuation and verse allocation – why don’t they work?
Heaven – HOW DOES THAT WORK?

Joseph tells the believers to throw a party with the rich and educated on the VIP list, because who needs consistency with the Book of Mormon when Zion has been found? Edward Partridge is treated like a toddler for (apparently) making bad decisions, but that’s okay, he’s still the Bishop in charge of the Bishop’s Storehouse.

Drink Count – 12, or a bit over one beer.

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Sidney Rigdon – The Forgotten Hero of Mormonism https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uu08PNbWGzc

Zion Temple Lot, conveniently temple free! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temple_Lot

Read along with us at joelakuhn.com/dc-compare

Support the show by becoming a Patron at Patreon.com/mybookofmormonpodcast

Show dedication and podcastriarchal blessing – Lucy the Valiant

Lucy (the Valiant) Pevensie is the youngest of the Pevensie siblings in C.S. Lewis’ series The Chronicles of Narnia.

Got a comment/question/concern? You know you do. Email me at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com

December 10, 2016

2 Comments

Episode 138: D&C 39 – Section 57

Episode 138: D&C 39 – Section 57

First – don’t do drugs unless you’re in a religious business meeting. Second, new writer or Oliver Cowdry? You decide. Much parentheses, very comma, so administration, wow. Who cares, now we know where Zion is! It’s on the other side of the courthouse in the vacant lot, btw. Praise Heavenly Father.

Drink count – 6, or about 1 beer

Go here to check out episode 135 https://mybookofmormonpodcast.com/2016/11/19/135/

Read all of these on your work computer to make your next performance review REALLY interesting!

http://www.mormonthink.com/files/restoration-sacred-mushroom.pdf

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2529415/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Datura

http://www.maripoisoncenter.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/CTR-Datura-Plant-Poisoning.pdf

Sidney Rigdon – The Forgotten Hero of Mormonism https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uu08PNbWGzc

Wollmeise is a kind of high quality yarn, the kind that would make you do dishes when it wasn’t your turn if you knew your partner would buy you some in exchange for dish duty.

Read along with us at joelakuhn.com/dc-compare

Support show by becoming a Patron at Patreon.com/mybookofmormonpodcast

Show dedication and podcastriarchal blessing – Zena

Got a comment/question/concern? You know you do. Email me at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com

December 3, 2016

2 Comments

Episode 137: D&C 38 – Sections 55 and 56

Episode 137: D&C 38 – Sections 55 and 56

If you leave the church you can get back all the money you donated to it. Caveat, this only works if your name is Ezra Thayre. Poor-shaming!

Drink count – 11, or about one beer

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Follow the hyperlinks below to learn more about what we’re referencing!
John Oliver transforms our lives with Multi-Level Marketing

Good Mythical Morning is a daily comedy show on YouTube

Creflo Dollar is an extremely wealthy televangelist

Read along with us at JoelAKuhn.com/dc-compare

Become a Patron at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast
Podcastriarchal blessing music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit
Show dedication and podcastriarchal blessing: George G

November 26, 2016

2 Comments

Episode 136: D&C 37 – Sections 53 and 54

Episode 136: D&C 37 – Sections 53 and 54

In the aftermath of the LDS Church’s first major business meeting Joseph Smith continues to solve short-term problems by sending everyone to Missouri. We spend the first half of the episode talking about why the entire country was moving to Missouri because of the absolutely horrid Indian Removal Act just put into place by President Jackson. The Mormons didn’t do anything to influence or support this act! They sure do benefit from it though (in the short-term, at least).

Read about the Indian Removal Act and Andrew Jackson’s positive spin: https://www.loc.gov/rr/program/bib/ourdocs/Indian.html
Andrew Jackson, America’s 7th President: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew_Jackson
Presidential is a brilliant podcast by Lillian Cunningham at the Washington Post, so wander on over and listen all about Andrew Jackson: https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/business/presidential-podcast/

Drink count – 10, or about a beer and a half, but really, just drink 10 beers!

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Read along with us at JoelAKuhn.com/dc-compare
Become a Patron at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast
Podcastriarchal blessing music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit
Show dedication and podcastriarchal blessing: Jonathan U.

November 19, 2016

13 Comments

Episode 135: D&C 36 – Section 52

Episode 135: D&C 36 – Section 52

The first ever Big Important Business Meeting of the newly formed church has concluded. Joseph revelates 33 of his VIPs right out into the wilderness (Missouri), and lets us know that another Big Important Business Meeting will happen out there, eventually, when they get around to it. Rejoice, they’re about to take the land of their inheritence from the people who have lived on the promised land for that last millenia! Wait, perhaps rejoicing in the future takeover of Native American lands shouldn’t be rejoiced about? Oh man, American history is ugly AF.

Drink count – 11 (or about a beer and half)

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Edson Fuller and his religiously enthusiastic buddies are described in detail at https://history.lds.org/article/doctrine-and-covenants-religious-enthusiasm?lang=eng

Curious about any of the men listed in this chapter? Head over to these two websites and enter in their name:
lds.org
josephsmithpapers.org

Symonds Ryder’s gravestone is found at http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=10388814

Read along with us at joelakuhn.com/dc-compare
Show dedication and podcastiarchal blessing – John P
Podcastriarchal blessing music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit

November 12, 2016

0 Comments

Episode 134: D&C 35 – Section 51 (Feat. David Michael and Joel Kuhn)

Episode 134: D&C 35 – Section 51 (Feat. David Michael and Joel Kuhn)

David Michael returns! We learn that if you’re supposed to give everything to the church, and if you’re bad then you lose access to all the stuff you gave away. So… be good?

Drink count – 2 (which is good, because we were very hungover)

Andrew Torrez, David Michael, and Bryce Blankenagel in the wee hours of the morning after Mythinformation 2016. Andrew is a wonderfully good sport with a penchant for 80’s power ballads and can be heard on Opening Arguments Podcast at openargs.com.

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Read along with us at joelakuhn.com/dc-compare

November 5, 2016

6 Comments

Episode 133: D&C 34 – Section 50

Episode 133: D&C 34 – Section 50

We address the controversy we accidentally started in episode 130, D&C section 46 (oops!). So, should we start a Comments Section discussion at the start of each episode? Email me, let me know at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com.

Section 50: Joseph lets us all know that everyone needs to calm down with the revelations and spiritual phenomena. False spirits aren’t good, y’all, you need to stick with the true spirits that come from God, and Joseph is here to tell us how.

Drink count – 14, or about two beers

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Show dedicated to Jason, with his podcastriarchal blessing at the end.

Support the show at patreon.com/mybookofmormonpodcast

Read along with us at joelakuhn.com/dc-compare

October 29, 2016

4 Comments

Episode 132: D&C 33 – Section 49

Episode 132: D&C 33 – Section 49

Marie and Bryce dish about Marie’s Ft Collins trip and Bryce’s recent run-in with Mormon missionaries, then get their act together to read Chapter 49. Did you know that the current chapter order is completely different than the chapter order in the original version? Neither did Marie!

Chapter 49 – Joseph Smith reveals how wrong, wrong, wrong the Shakers are and affirms that marriage is between one man and one woman, vegetarianism is bad, god is not a woman, and baptism must be done.

Married Drink count – 9,   1f37a[1]

Unmarried Drink count – 9 + bonus beer, 1f37a[1]1f37a[1]

Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/

October 27, 2016

0 Comments

Patreon rewards are in the mail!!

Behold (drink!!), pint glasses and drink coasters are on their way! Interested in snagging some of this super-fine swag? Become a supporter of this show over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast. Got a question? Post it here, or email me at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com. Thanks! – Marie

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October 22, 2016

4 Comments

Episode 131: D&C 32 – Sections 47-48 (Feat. Jim Van Heel)

Episode 131: D&C 32 – Sections 47-48

Local (to me) listener Jim Van Heel joins me in Studio MK (Marie’s Kitchen) to read two administrative chapters. Woo hoo! But first, Jim tells us about leaving the church, the difficulties of bringing up the hard topics, and beer.

Drink Count – 2

Read along with us at joelakuhn.com/dc-compare

Podcastriarchal blessing – Tyler S.

Support the show at Patreon.com/mybookofmormonpodcast

Intro music by Maps & Transit, Our Happy Life. It was shortened by six seconds to fit the introduction.

Joseph’s Smith’s Biography

The definitive biography was written by Fawn Brodie in 1945. If you want to understand Mormon history, you must read this. She was a pioneer of early church history and was smeared and excommunicated for her research. Her book is ‘No Man Knows My History’ was originally labeled ‘anti-Mormon’ lies, the book is now available through the BYU bookstore online: https://www.amazon.com/No-Man-Knows-My-History/dp/0679730540

Early Church History

Grant Palmer was a teacher in the Church Educational System (CES) for 30 years. His book, ‘An Insider’s View of Mormon Origins’ is a great summary of the skimmed over issues most members in the pews are unaware of. His quote, ” Mormon doctrine is 2 miles wide and an inch Early Church deep,” is one of my favorites. His Mormon Stories interview is also highly recommended.

Edited Conference Talks

These are unbelievable really. My favorite go-to examples of outright deceit. First, Elder Poelman’s 1984 (1985 anyone?) conference rewritten and recorded in full and rereleased: http://infantsonthrones.com/?s=Poelman Second: the 2010 talk by Boyd K Packer edited to match current views on the nature of homosexuality,
http://religiondispatches.org/controversial-lds-conference-talk-edited-for-publication/ And Third: questions regarding wether the Relief Society meeting is officially part of conference lead to an edited prayer –
http://www.sltrib.com/news/lds/1693408-155/conference-session-women-
general-meeting-prayer

Mormonism & Masonry

This is a hot topic in ex Mormonism. In fact, I believe this is the most misunderstood aspect of Mormon history by both Mormons and ex Mormons. While 7 hours in total, I’ve never been more drawn in by any series of podcast than that of John Larsen with guest ‘George Miller’ who is a historian of both Mormon Temple worship and the Masonic Lodge. He is a TBM and I find his reasoning and conclusions extremely compelling. In iTunes under ‘Mormon Expression’ find episodes 19ax-19fx

Mormon Expression

There are 35 free episodes on iTunes every one of which has great value – my #1 recommendation is ‘How To Build A Transoceanic Vessel’ episode 2x, throroughly debunking the possibility of Nephi building a boat. However, there are hundreds of great episodes behind a paywall of $9.95 for life, which is incredibly worth it.

Signature Books

Publisher of all things Utah, Mormonism, and Americana Signature Books has a great wealth of books on Mormonism like the Parallel Doctrine and Covenants: http://signaturebooks.com/the-parallel-doctrine-and-covenants-the-1832-1833-1833-and-1835-editions-of-joseph-smiths-revelations/ There is also a parallel Book of Mormon. Unfortunately, both are out of print, but awesome display pieces. Follow them on Facebook for up-to-date Mormon news and limited release books.

Translated John

It was John the beloved who was translated. Leave it to LDS.org to dance around an answer, but that is what the membership believes:
https://www.lds.org/manual/doctrine-and-covenants-student-
manual/sections-1-9/section-7-john-the-revelator?lang=eng

October 15, 2016

12 Comments

Episode 130: D&C 31 – Section 46 (Feat. Joel Kuhn!!!)

Episode 130: D&C 31 – Section 46 (Feat. Joel Kuhn!!!)

I saw the (spiritual) signs, I opened up the D&C, I saw the (spiritual) signs. #danceparty

Drink count – 5

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Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/

Help support the show at patreon.com/mybookofmormonpodcast

Ace of Base – The Sign

October 8, 2016

2 Comments

Episode 129: D&C 30 – Section 45 Part 2

Episode 129: D&C 30 – Section 45 Part 2

Jesus reasserts that he is lord, then there’s talk about the end of days (Michael Bay, please direct the movie of this), and it wraps up with Zion will be The Best Place Ever. None of this has anything to do with the false reports and foolish stories that caused this revelation to be brought forth, so mostly I’m confused.

Drink count – 10

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Read along with us as joelakuhn.com/dc-compare

Help support the show at patreon.com/mybookofmormonpodcast

October 1, 2016

21 Comments

Episode 128: Ft Collins Temple

Episode 128: Ft Collins Temple

On September 10, 2016 I visited the Ft Collins Temple with my friend Chad. This is our audio diary.

Official Ft Collins Temple photographs are here – https://www.lds.org/church/news/see-inside-new-fort-collins-colorado-temple-opening-for-tours-august-19?lang=eng

To read more about the process used to build a Mormon temple, read this article – http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/mormon-temple-building-process

The George W. Bush presidential library is in Dallas, TX. Much like touring a Mormon temple, pre-game before you enter. https://www.georgewbushlibrary.smu.edu/

Napoleon’s Sarcophagus is at Les Invalides in Paris. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Les_Invalides

New Belgium Brewing are the makers of Fat Tire Beer. http://www.newbelgium.com/Brewery

Casa Bonita is a Mexican restaurant in Denver. www.CasaBonitaDenver.com

Become a patron at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast

September 24, 2016

7 Comments

Episode 127: D&C 29 – Section 45 Part 1

Episode 127: D&C 29 – Section 45 Part 1

Mormons who make the news tend to be the worst examples of Mormonism! The only thing we learn in this section is that headers can be super awkward when they’re full of ellipses.

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“Drink!” count – 9, or about a beer and a half.

Read along with us at joelakuhn.com/dc-compare

John the Revelator – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8pcRCS8Uy5w

September 18, 2016

2 Comments

Episode 126: Listener Mail and Patreon Rewards

Episode 126: Listener Mail and Patreon Rewards

Marie tests her audio editing skills with her first ever listener mail episode. Plus, new Patreon rewards are available for your perusal over at patreon.com/mybookofmormonpodcast

7 drinks, or about 1 beer

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Music by Kevin MacLeod at http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Kevin_MacLeod/Classical_Sampler/Running_Fanfare

Andy Cohen at http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Andy_G_Cohen/Layers_1240/Andy_G_Cohen_-_08_-_Scramby_Eggs

September 14, 2016

0 Comments

Patreon Rewards!!!

The new Patreon reward levels are now up over at Patreon.com/MyBookOfMormonPodcast. Get yourself a podcastriarchal blessing, and maybe some sweet swag action.

Support per Episode, up to a max of four episodes per month.

$1           I’ll read your name/pseudonym on the show and thank you profusely for your generous support.

$2           You get a patriarchal/podcastriarchal blessing read for all to hear. Real name or pseudonym, whichever you prefer.

$5           The swag begins. Podcastriarchal bless, AND four coasters, one each saying “Behold”, “Yea”, “And it came to pass…” or “Verily”.

$10         Podcastriarchal blessing, four coaster set, AND you get a show dedicated to you.

$15         Podcastriarchal blessing, four coaster set, show dedication, AND a pint glass emblazoned with the word “Drink!”

$20         Podcastriarchal blessing, four coaster set, show dedication, and TWO pint glasses emblazoned with the word “Drink!”

$30         You are the pinnacle of Mymo achievement. Personal message, podcastriarchal blessing, four coasters, a show dedicated to you, and a set of four “Drink!” pint glasses.

Got questions? You know you do. Drop me a line over at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com.

September 10, 2016

0 Comments

Episode 125: D&C 28 – Section 44

Episode 125: D&C 28 – Section 44

Joseph lets us know that God will be with the believers at a meeting that will occur in June. Marie and Bryce accidentally discuss the Pony Express, then discuss our interactions with and views of modern day Mormonism.

4 drinks, so you’d be better off doing shots rather than waste half a beer.

Sound of Cylons
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMUezhpuEoE

Marie’s interview with Cass and Bob will be up on http://www.everyonesagnostic.com/ in mid-September 2016.

Marie’s friend Marie has a swear-filled podcasted called Fresh Out. Hear her stories of leaving behind unreal expectations imposed on us by others, by religion, by culture, or by ourselves. http://freshouttruestory.podbean.com/

Foster Kittens on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/foster_kittens/?hl=en

Intro Music by Andy G. Cohen. “Scramby Eggs” from the album Layers (EP). http://freemusicarchive.org/music/Andy_G_Cohen/Layers_1240/

Read along with us at joelakuhn.com/dc-compare

September 4, 2016

4 Comments

Episode 124: D&C 26 – Section 43

Episode 124: D&C 26 – Section 43

Revelators gonna revelate, so listen only to Joseph the Revelator. Marie and Bryce do their best God Voices, and Mean Jesus doesn’t want you to have a good time.

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13 drinks, or about two beers.

Read along with us at http://www.joelakuhn.com/dc-compare

Read the LDS churches’ explanation about D&C revisions/adjustments at
https://www.lds.org/scriptures/adjustments?lang=eng

August 28, 2016

2 Comments

Episode 123: D&C 26 – Section 42 Part 3

Episode 123: D&C 25 – Section 42 Part 3

Women are part of this section!!!! Don’t worry, it’s all negative. Peer pressure is a thing, much in the way that logical narrative flow isn’t. 5 drinks, or one beer if you take big swigs (recommended).

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Read along with us at http://www.joelakuhn/dc-compare

August 21, 2016

3 Comments

Episode 122: D&C 25 – Section 42 Part 2

Episode 122: D&C 25 – Section 42 Part 2

In today’s episode of victim-blaming, it’s all your fault because you don’t have enough faith. If you’re in 1831 you learn about allocating space for newcomers, if you’re in 2013 or later you learn that you get one free pass, then you have to stop your adulterous ways. I wish I was kidding.

13 drinks, or about 2 beers.

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Read along with us at joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/

August 14, 2016

3 Comments

Episode 121: D&C 24 – Section 42 Part 1

Episode 121: D&C 24 – Section 42 Part 1

Ownership, 1831 Edition: All ur stuff are belong to the bishop. Ownership, 2013 Edition: All ur excess stuff are belong to the church for the benefit of the poor, occasionally, if it works out that way. 10 drinks, or approximately 2 beers.

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Read along with us at joelakuhn.com/dc-compare

Check out authorship attribution on slide 185 at http://mormonleaks.com/library/episode-06/#

August 7, 2016

2 Comments

Episode 120: D&C 23 – Section 39-41

Episode 120: D&C 23 – Section 39-41

God’s strength is affirmed when he assures James Covel that moving to Ohio will be a 100% success, then Satan swoops in and tempts Covel right outta there. Joseph and Sidney get revelated into nicer houses. It’s good to be in charge! 19 drinks, or about three beers.

Read along with me at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/

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July 31, 2016

1 Comment

Episode 119: D&C 22 – Section 38

Episode 119: D&C 22 – Section 38

God commands Joseph to bring his people from Fayette, NY to Ohio, despite it being around 20F/-6C and windy outside. Marie and Bryce have an attack of empathy after Joseph’s followers are commanded to leave all their worldly possessions behind so they can live as sharecroppers on a rich guys’ land. God decides to withhold anything good from his followers just in case they might one day become prideful and need to be exterminated. 14 drinks, or about 2 beers, which frankly, isn’t nearly enough for this sobfest.

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Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/