March 9, 2019


King Follett Discourse, Infinite Regression of Gods

King Follett Discourse, Infinite Regression of Gods

Marie’s inherent belief structure gets tossed to the wind as we delve into the infinite regression of gods. The Plan of Salvation is involved, sort of.


Fair Mormon’s non-answer to the god regression is here.

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March 2, 2019


King Follett Discourse, It Begins

King Follett Discourse, It Begins

King Follett died in 1844 when a bucket of rocks fell on his head while he was helping dig a well. Joseph Smith spoke at his funeral, for hours, and 4+ people wrote notes of his speech. Let’s read it!


All The Links

The church’s official information is here

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FBM 7: Reign of Judges – Title of Liberty

February 23, 2019


NCR 8: Two repeats and an arson attempt

NCR 8: Two repeats and an arson attempt

We’ve heard the first two before! The second one is a treasure trove of little-heard stories.


All the links!!!

Patron-only bonus: Deep thoughts on feedback

Read the full text at

The death of Alvin Smith

Joseph Smith’s feelings on doctors, April 1843

Mormon Political Involvement in Ohio


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February 2, 2019


NCR 5: Enochian, Paper, and $$$

NCR 5: Enochian, Paper, and $$$

Maybe Joseph was trying to speak Enochian? He definitely was having money problems.


Sample of Pure Language

Printing press page purchases

Reserve $3,000 (somehow)


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January 12, 2019


Non-Canon Revelation 2: Early 1830 – Go to Canada

Non-Canon Revelation 2: Early 1830 – Go to Canada

Joseph Smith commands his inner circle to take his not-yet-published Book of Mormon and sell the copyright up in Canada. That copyright was never sold, so this revelation was never printed.


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January 5, 2019


Non-Canon Revelation 1: June 1829

Non-Canon Revelation 1: June 1829

Welcome apostates back into the church, because YOU could be the reason they rededicate themselves to the faith. Sidney Rigdon writes Oliver Cowdery out of history with a few scribbles of his greedy little pen.


Bonus episode: What should I do when I see pornography?

December 22, 2018


The Comments Section

The Comments Section

We all need a break from theology, eh? Here’s a sampling of feedback we’ve gotten in the comments section, Facebook, and email.


Patron Bonus – State of the Podcast 2018

December 15, 2018


Lectures on Faith: Section 7, Part 2

Lectures on Faith: Section 7, Part 2

Sidney Rigdon asserts that sufficient faith can do all things, while also making some deeply offensive statements about child mortality.

Final grade of the Lectures on Faith: D–

Drink count – enough to get you through this


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December 8, 2018


Lectures on Faith: Section 7, Part 1

Lectures on Faith: Section 7, Part 1

The episode that straw-mans itself. Faith is the true principle of theology, the gasoline that powers the universe, the source of all truth.


Drink count – 1

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December 1, 2018

1 Comment

Lectures on Faith: Section 6

Lectures on Faith: Section 6

You’ll know you’re in the right path when you know you’re following God’s will, but this won’t tell you specifically how to know you know. Definitely be a martyr for your god. Does it matter if other people are injured or killed because you won’t deny your god? Nope! Their needs don’t matter, only you not denying a god you probably aren’t entirely certain if you’re following correctly.

This gets real dark, real quick.

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November 17, 2018


Lectures on Faith: Section 4

Lectures on Faith: Section 4

Knowledge, faith/power, justice, judgement, mercy, truth. By a little reflection it will be seen, that the idea of the existence of these attributes in the Deity, is necessary to enable any rational being to exercise faith in him.

Yeah. Sure. Let’s go with that.

Patron bonus – Frakkin’ Bad Movies 4: Lorenzo Returns

November 10, 2018


Lectures on Faith: Section 3, Part 2

Lectures on Faith: Section 3, Part 2

In which we figure out that the Q&A was probably a quick-reference guide for anyone teaching this. You should absolutely read Romans 16, it’s glorious.

Romans Chapter 16, KJV

Drink count – 0

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November 3, 2018


Lectures on Faith: Section 3, Part 1

Lectures on Faith: Section 3, Part 1

God is unchanging. Rational people know it, intelligent people know it, faithful people know it. Or maybe God changes all the time, as evidenced by The Bible, the Book of Mormon, and the D&C.


Drink count – 1 (so make it count)


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Patron Bonus – Bryce got engaged!!!!

October 27, 2018


Lectures on Faith: Historical context w/ Gottfried The Hirsute

Lectures on Faith: Historical context w/ Gottfried The Hirsute

Everything happens for a reason, and sometimes that reason is Sidney Rigdon. Long-time listener of the show Gottfried The Hirsute joins us to give a greater context for why Sidney, we mean Joseph Smith, wrote the Lectures on Faith.

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October 20, 2018


Lectures on Faith: Section 2, Part 2

Lectures on Faith: Section 2, Part 2

Oh dear Heavenly Father, why is there so much repetition?? Why, Joseph Smith, why???

Drink count – 4

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Patron Bonus – Will Marie start a new podcast???

October 13, 2018


Lectures on Faith: Section 2, Part 1

Lectures on Faith: Section 2, Part 1

The only thing more entertaining than a rehashing of the creation story is to read genealogies.

Drink count – 6


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Read D. Todd Christofferon’s entire talk about faith at

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October 6, 2018


Lectures on Faith: Section 1

Lectures on Faith: Section 1

Faith is the foundation of all things, obviously. Without faith, literally nothing else exists!!! Pay no attention to the obvious flaws in these statements.

*waves hands in a distracting fashion*


Drink count – 2


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Listen to Marie and Colleen at Mormon Happy Hour


September 29, 2018

1 Comment

The Family: A Proclamation to the World

The Family: A Proclamation to the World

President Gordon B. Hinckley presented this gem during a speech to the General Relief Society Meeting on September 23, 1995. Boy howdy, it’s a doozy.


Drink when you can’t stand it anymore.

September 22, 2018


Ep 224: Official Declaration 2

Ep 224: Official Declaration 2

Church leadership was powerless – POWERLESS – to change their extremely racist policy. After a bunch of petitioning, god changed his mind about black people.

Drink count – 6

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Patreon Bonus – The Interfaith Chapel

September 15, 2018


Ep 223: Official Declaration 1

Ep 223: Official Declaration 1

Wilford Woodruff writes a memo to the Saints, which then has to be followed up with a few “No, seriously, we mean it!” lectures. Refrain from polygamy because OMG, what if the government takes all our stuff???


Drink count – around 5


Read along with us at Official Declaration 1

September 8, 2018


Ep 222: D&C 111 – Section 138

Ep 222: D&C 111 – Section 138

Pres. Joseph F. Smith has a dream in 1918 and behold (drink!) it did bring unto him a revelation from God. Or it’s D&C fanfic from an old guy nearing the end of his days. You be the judge.

Drink count – 2

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Patron Bonus – Protect LDS Children/McKenna Denson

September 1, 2018


Ep 221: D&C 110 – Section 137

Ep 221: D&C 110 – Section 137

Throwback to before the Kirtland Temple Dedication! Joseph lets you know that you definitely need this temple because ordinances, and do those ordinances so your ancestors have the chance to get into heaven.

Head over to the Twitters to vote on where we take the show next!


Patron Bonus – How *you* doin’?

August 25, 2018

1 Comment

Ep 220: D&C 109 – Section 136

Ep 220: D&C 109 – Section 136

It’s winter in Omaha Nation/future Iowa and Brigham Young has a plan. Gather your things and prepare to head to Mexico/future Utah. There may be room for some of your possessions, there won’t be much room for food.

Drink count – 2

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Many thanks to supporters of this show for Marie’s new sound setup!

Bonus Episode – Studio Hallway Closet is no more

August 18, 2018


Ep 219: D&C 108 – Section 135

Joseph and Hyrum Smith are deceased, and we all need a solid emotional outburst in response. Grab your pint of ice cream and your favorite spoon, it’s time to eat/talk our feelings.
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August 11, 2018

1 Comment

Sunstone 2018 Presentation

Cover to Cover, Inside and Out (Sunstone 2018 Presentation)

Sunstone Symposium 2018 has graciously given us permission to broadcast our presentation at this year’s conference. If you’d like to listen to other presentations, they are available for purchase at


Bonus episode – Behind the Scenes of the Presentation

August 4, 2018

1 Comment

The Demise of Joseph Smith (Live Show)

The Demise of Joseph Smith

Marie, Bryce, and Colleen of Mormon Happy Hour join forces to learn all about the demise of Joseph Smith. This live show was recorded at Squatter’s Pub in downtown Salt Lake City on July 27, 2018.

Drink Count – 16, officially, but we encourage more if it helps you cope with the mob

Mormon Happy Hour is Colleen Dietz’s amazing podcast

Patron Bonus – Behind the scenes of the live show!

July 28, 2018

1 Comment

Ep 216: MofF – The Sin Next To Murder, Part 2

Miracle of Forgiveness – The Sin Next To Murder, Part 2

Spencer W. Kimball continues to tear us down as the horrible humans we are, with special attention to the divorced harlots of the world.

July 21, 2018

1 Comment

Ep 215: MofF – The Sin Next To Murder, Part 1

Miracle of Forgiveness – The Sin Next to Murder, Part 1

Live show, July 27, 2018! 8pm, Squatter’s on 147 Broadway in SLC

The Miracle of Forgiveness was written by Spencer W. Kimball and has been removed from the approved reading list for missionaries. We’re reading chapter 5, The Sin Next To Murder.

July 14, 2018


Ep 214: Miracle of Forgiveness, Spencer W. Kimball

Miracle of Forgiveness: Spencer W Kimball

Live show, July 27, 2018! 8pm, Squatter’s on 147 Broadway in SLC

The Miracle of Forgiveness was written by Spencer W. Kimball and has been removed from the approved reading list for missionaries.

July 7, 2018


Ep 213: The Nauvoo Expositor, Part 2

Ep 213: The Nauvoo Expositor, Part 2

William Law and friends continue to call upon Joseph Smith to stop leading the saints astray and return to monogamy and a monotheistic religion. Joseph responds by seizing their printing press and burning it, and all found copies of the Nauvoo Expositor, to the ground.


Live Show on Friday, July 27, 8pm at Squatter’s in downtown SLC

Marie and Bryce’s presentation at Sunstone is on Saturday, July 28 at 10:15am


Patron Bonus – Porter Rockwell

The Nauvoo Expositor

June 30, 2018


Ep 212: The Nauvoo Expositor, Part 1

Ep 212: The Nauvoo Expositor, Part 1

William Law and friends published the first and only edition of The Nauvoo Expositor on June 7, 1844. This was the newspaper published by dissident Mormons which was declared a “public nuisance” by the Nauvoo City Council on June 8, 1844. By authority of the Council’s order the Expositor press was destroyed that same day and the newspaper was immediately shut down. It never resumed publication.


Drink Count – As needed


Patron Bonus: Raw emotions after a witnessed car crash

The Nauvoo Expositor

June 18, 2018

1 Comment

Technical difficulties!!!

Email Marie at if the steps below don’t work for your podcast app!!! 

Hello dear listeners! Our rss feed took a nap and had to be woken back up. If you’re looking for the most recent show in your podcast app and can’t see it, try this.

  1. Uninstall and reinstall your app.
  2. If that doesn’t work, manually add this rss feed:

Never manually added an rss feed before? While the details on how to do this will change depending on your app, it’ll probably be something like this:

  1. Go to Shows
  2. Hit Edit
  3. Select Add a Podcast by URL
  4. Enter in
  5. Rejoice!!!!



June 16, 2018


Ep 211: D&C 107 – Section 134

Ep 211: D&C 107 – Section 134

Today’s political statement/revelation lets us know the church believes you should follow secular law… kind of? It definitely is a pro-slavery church because that’s what this revelation plainly says. Once more for the people in the back, THE CHURCH CONDONES SLAVERY.

Drink count – 0

Patron Bonus: Marie and Bryce catch up from vacation

How to Vote In Every State – YouTube

Ear Hustle brings you the stories of life inside prison,
shared and produced by those living it

Opening Arguments breaks down the Colorado baker case

Joseph Bishop is accused of sexual assault during his time running the MTC 

June 9, 2018


Ep 210: D&C 106 – Section 133

Ep 210: D&C 106 – Section 133

This was originally the appendix/closing of the Book of Commandments. Since the BoC was never fully published, it was included as part of the revelations instead of a separate appendix. It’s the return of Pangea at the end of days, with a brief visit to Canada first. Eternity is singing to god. That god is having a big ol’ tantrum because his creations aren’t paying him enough attention, so watch out or he’ll send you to outer darkness.


Drink Count – 19


The Links

Patron Bonus – Marie vs the Texas accent

June 2, 2018


Ep 209: D&C 105 – Section 101 (monogamy)

Ep 209: D&C 105 – Section 101 (monogamy, erased)

D&C 101 was in the 1835 and 1844 versions of the D&C… and then was removed. You can’t find it referenced on, so it’s almost as if it was *gasp* removed entirely so that it wouldn’t conflict so drastically with modern day D&C 132. Here’s what it says:

You can get married to a non-believer, you’ll just be marked as “weak”. When you get married it should be public and done according to local laws. Your officiant needs to wing it, no writing a ceremony beforehand! Pledge to be monogamous to your hetero spouse. Monogamy is the only option, heterosexuality is the only sexuality, public is the only type of ceremony to be done.

Drink count – 0

The Links

Fair Mormon apologist view on D&C 101’s removal

D&C 101 on Joseph Smith Papers

Patron Bonus: Marie joined a Mormon dating site

May 26, 2018


Ep 208: D&C 104 – Section 132, Part 2 (more polygamy!!!!)

Ep 208: D&C 104 – Section 132, Part 2 (more polygamy!!!!)

Colleen Dietz and Miranda Crandall from the Mormon Happy Hour Podcast join us to drink our way through the second half of polygamy. Follow, support, listen, for they are amazing.

Joseph Smith shames Emma Smith for even daring to potentially have given a glance at William Law while asserting his own power to “seal” with anyone he desires. Virgins are the best! So are the non-virgins who have been vetted for their worth. #barf

The Petticoat Affair – Peggy Eaton was a widow, not a divorcee as I’d stated.

All The Links

MBOM Patron Bonus Episode: A brief history of the Detroit stake, aka the most awkward photo shoot ever

Mormon Happy Hour Podcast 




May 19, 2018


Ep 207: D&C 103 – Section 132 (Polygamy!!!!!!)

Polygamy!!! It’s happening!!!! Joseph spends all day in a room with William Clayton and Hyrum Smith penning this revelation. It’s such an important revelation that if you don’t follow it you WILL NOT GET INTO HEAVEN. This is when we find out that men who enter into the principle of plural marriage are the ones who become gods after they die.

May 12, 2018


Ep 206: D&C 102 – Sections 129 to 131

Ep 206: D&C 102 – Sections 129 to 131

Welcome to the episode when Marie absolutely CANNOT follow along with what the revelations are saying. The Nauvoo Mormons are being fast-tracked into Masonry, which we should care about, but we care more about how to identify a good or bad spirit.

  1. When you meet a spirit, ask to shake its hand. If it’s corporeal and takes your hand AND you can feel it, then it’s a good spirit.
  2. If it doesn’t move but can speak, then it’s a just man made perfect. It’s good, not evil, just not super duper good (I think).
  3. However, it if moves, shakes your hand and you DON’T feel their hand, then it’s a devil/bad spirit.

Angels get their own planet, as do men, but not women. Joseph prophesies the Civil War.


Patron Bonus: The Miracle of Forgiveness, The Sin Next To Murder, Part 2

May 5, 2018


Ep 205: D&C 101 – Section 128

Ep 205: D&C 101 – Section 128

Is there a specific calling for Baptism for the Dead clerk? Email Marie at because she really needs to know.

More on baptisms for the dead. There should always be at least 2 witnesses, ideally 3, for each baptism. The church recorder should record each one, and also record sealings. This book is somehow also created in heaven (not sure why). Know that if your name isn’t in this official holy church record then God won’t find you and be able to let you into the celestial kingdom. Now, go build that temple!!!!!!


Patron Bonus: Miracle of Forgiveness, Part 1



April 28, 2018

1 Comment

Ep 204: D&C 100 – Section 127

Ep 204: D&C 100 – Section 127

Joseph has married another 14 women and managed to turn himself into the mayor of Nauvoo, IL. In celebration, he nopes out of town
until his followers repay his debts. He’ll make like the apostle Paul and write letters to the believers. Definitely make sure you keep track of who is getting baptized during baptisms for the dead.

Drink count – 4


Patron Bonus: How should we talk about polygamy and consent?


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April 21, 2018


Ep 203: D&C 99 – Sections 125 and 126

Ep 203: D&C 99 – Sections 125 and 126

Build up a city on the Iowa side of the river, possibly so that Joseph can escape jurisdiction in Illinois by hopping over the border from Nauvoo to Montrose. Brigham Young has returned from his mission overseas and brought an influx of believers from England. Plural marriage is full-on happening, and it’s not always incredibly full of consent.

Nephi’s Courage


Patron Bonus: “I do Mormonism for fun” is one heck of a conversation!


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April 14, 2018

1 Comment

Ep 202: D&C 98 – Section 124, Part 5 (the finale!!!!)

Ep 202: D&C 98 – Section 124, Part 5 (the finale!!!!)

Sidney Rigdon has been hitting the bottle a bit too hard and is considering going back to Ohio. Joseph strikes that down by telling him to not only stay in Illinois, but to move closer to Joseph’s soon-to-be built mansion. Robert D. Foster enters the timeline! Don’t spoil it for Marie, just google him and leave zero comments about it. Also, Nauvoo House is the 1841 equivalent to a 2018 start-up in Silicon Valley. Viva la Melchizedek Priesthood!!!!

Drink count – ??? This was part 5, I stopped counting long ago


Patron Bonus – Technical Difficulties in Podcasting


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April 7, 2018


Ep 201: D&C 97 – Section 124, Part 4

Ep 201: D&C 97 – Section 124, Part 4

The Nauvoo house is owned by the Community of Christ today, but now is when the saints are told to build it. The church issues “investments” into the creation of the Nauvoo house, which looks suspiciously like a terrible idea. Oliver Cowdery is replaced by Hyrum Smith and William Law is given a few too many superpowers.


Drink count – lots? I wasn’t keeping track, my bad


Patron Bonus: Bryce went to the Protect LDS Children march


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March 31, 2018


Ep 200: D&C 96 – Section 124, Part 3

Ep 200: D&C 96 – Section 124, Part 3

If you build a temple, they will come. *channels Field of Dreams*
Baptism for the dead is mentioned for the first time! It has to be done, but only AFTER the Nauvoo Temple is built, so give us all your resources to build that before we build houses for our own. No specific timeline, god understands that bad people may try to stop the Saints, don’t worry about it.


Drink count – a LOT, plus a shot


Patron Bonus: Sister Missionary Action Figurines!!!!!!!


Quorum Podcast

March 24, 2018


Episode 199: D&C 95, Section 124 (feat. Cheryl Bruno)

Episode 199: D&C 95, Section 124 (feat. Cheryl Bruno)

Mormonism is about to become entwined with Masonry. Joseph Smith now can say he’s Joseph Smith Sr since his dad has passed away, which is kinda sneaky, but works. April 6 is Jesus’s birthday, God loves Hyrum Smith, and the Nauvoo House is decreed to be built. Obviously, it doesn’t go as planned. Don’t worry everyone, it’ll all end up okay because heaven exists and if you die, that’s where you go.
The Morgan Affair 


Patron Bonus Episode: Yet another religious figure gets handsy



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