Episode 59: Helaman 10-13

January 4, 2015

Episodes

Click to Listen: Episode 59: Helaman 10-13

God gives Nephi a ton of superhero powers, and Nephi decides to use them to starve thousands of people to death. What a great guy! And then we learn how much god thinks we’re all pretty much useless. I’m not gonna lie, this one is a bit depressing.

“Drink” Count – 83

Almost 14 beers!!

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3 Comments on “Episode 59: Helaman 10-13”

  1. Duke of Earl Grey Says:

    Yes, of course Arnold Friberg painted Samuel the Lamanite, high on the city wall. No, I don’t think I’ll post the image of that painting just yet, because the picture shows a plot point that hasn’t happened just yet (not that it isn’t obvious). We’ll have to wait an episode or two more, perhaps…

    One generation = 100 years? Some people suggest that in this context, generation must mean something like the time it takes for the population to cycle through everybody. Practically everyone who was alive 100 years ago is dead now, and in another 100 years, practically everyone alive now will be dead. Not an unreasonable work around, I think, but then, apologists’ take on “context” is “How can we twist the apparent meaning of this scriptural passage so that it doesn’t sound blatantly false? Because it can’t be false, or I’ll just die!”

    Joseph Smith had to go make the apologists’ jobs harder by making prophecies in the 1830s about this or that great thing that would come to pass “in this generation”, because then those things didn’t happen. I think in those contexts, “generation” conveniently means the current latter-day dispensation until Jesus comes back, however long that will last. The church, I think, therefore likes to think of ALL prophecies as conditional, like Jonah’s prophecy to Nivevah. Such and such will happen IF you don’t repent! Such and such will happen IF you’re righteous enough. Even if the “if” is only implicit. Then no prophecy can ever be proven false.

    “Suffer” – This chapter is mostly (not exclusively) using suffer in the King James era sense of the word, meaning to endure or allow something. “How long must the Lord suffer, that is, put up with your crap, Nephites?” But then, the modern, primary definition of suffer seems to have come about because of all the loving chastening with death and terror we get to suffer from God all the time.

    Slippery treasure! I’m sure there are others that could say more about Joseph Smith the treasure digger, and the angel Moroni as the guardian spirit of the Golden Plates, and how if you want to get buried treasure that’s guarded by a spirit, you can’t just dig it up and grab it. No. You have to follow all the instructions of the spirit exactly (you know, like coming back on the same day of the year for four years in a row), or else the treasure slips away magically back into the earth.

    Reply

  2. Dave Says:

    Hey it’s time for Samuel the Lamanite!!! After Abinadi, he’s the next badass prophet ready to piss wicked Nephites off!

    Reply

  3. Dave Says:

    eternal head…

    Reply

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