Episode 145: D&C 46 – Section 63, Part 2
Sex, Money, and Zombies, as told by Joseph Smith’s Twitter Feed
“Totes found #Zion! Come 2 Missouri ASAP. #KirtlandRevelation”
“Everyone 2 #Zion! (not whoremongers, scorcerers, adulterers) #PromisedLand monogamy4life ”
“Buy ur land in #Zion 2 b #blessed.”
“If ur wicked God will use unquenchable fire. SAD. #destroyed #smite”
“Send ur money to #Zion if u want eternal salvation. #reward #afterlife”
“1st Res. be a twinkle of an eye, live in ur prime! #notzombies”
“#foolishvirgins JUST SAY NO”
“S. Rigdon bad at plat of #Zion, god wants do-over.”
“CONDEMN CONDEMN CONDEMN #apostate”
Drink count – 22, or about 3 beers
99% Invisible is an amazing podcast that did an episode on why Salt Lake City’s street grid is so delightfully unique. Give it a listen at http://99percentinvisible.org/episode/plat-of-zion/
Read along with us at http://joelakuhn.com/dc-compare/
Support the show by becoming a Patron over at Patreon.com/MyBookofMormonPodcast
Drop me a line at comments@mybookofmormonpodcast.com
Podcastriarchal blessing: Duke of Earl Grey
Podcastriarchal music is Our Happy Life by Maps and Transit, edited for length
My Book of Mormon 
February 4, 2017 at 10:32 pm
The telestial kingdom is for literally everyone who doesn’t feel like living up to God’does commandments… those who are unapologetic for theither behavior on earth.
“Those who love and maketh a lie” are they who don’t give a single care for what God thinks of them.
They may be good people even, they just do not claim a savior.
They are the ones who sit unredeemed from their sins.
This is, as DC76 will say, where the mass majority of people of earth will wind up… “as numerous as the stars.”
The Hitler thing is called “outer darkness”
Thanks for the shout out in the intro, Marie!
February 4, 2017 at 10:33 pm
*God’s commandments… silly phone!
February 5, 2017 at 3:12 am
Hmmm… I wonder where I’d end up? I don’t personally believe in a god, so that could be problematic since I don’t give a hoot what a deity would think of my actions (what with my belief there is no deity watching my actions). And yet, I live in the midwest. I apologize ALL the time, instinctively.
February 5, 2017 at 3:29 am
That’s right, if you’re Canadian or Minnesotan and have already apologized multiple times for anything you might have done wrong, chances are you’ll die with very little left on your slate to atone for, making very light work for Jesus. He might very well give you a discount or even a free pass.
February 5, 2017 at 3:59 am
Yeah, sorry about getting the free pass. My bad.
February 5, 2017 at 5:05 am
Sorry Elder Sean, but I must respectfully disagree. Hitler will go to the Telestial Kingdom, along with the majority of all people who have ever lived. Outer Darkness is reserved exclusively for those who have “received the fullness of the gospel” – i.e. temple-worthy Latter Day Saints – and then “turn away” by denying the Holy Spirit (and by implication, Jesus). The Mormon shorthand explanation is that “only those who are candidates for the Celestial Kingdom are candidates for Outer Darkness.”
February 6, 2017 at 7:05 pm
Of course, Gottfried, you are correct. I was thinking of the wrong seminary trope, haha…
But yes, Telestial kingdom is for everyone who just does not care to follow the commandments of God, or just refuses to accept Jesus as their savior.
Terrestrial Kingdom is for those who accept Jesus but don’t necessarily lead amazing lives… ie the generic christians.
Celestial kingdom is for those who make and keep their temple covenants.
But the beauty (and irony) of it is that even if you do NOT give one single shit about the gospel, you’ll still get immortality and at least *some* glory in the kingdom of God.
As for me? I’m a bit of a pragmatic Mormon. I still go to church (family obligations and local community integration) and I even teach sunday school once a month.
But I absolutely love the podcast so I can’t say I’m anything close to a TBM Mormon 🙂
February 5, 2017 at 4:55 am
Maybe I can help clear up a couple of things:
The “whosoever loveth and maketh a lie” passage is quoting Revelation 22:15, which is saying who will get to live in Jesus’ gated community and who won’t. The difficulty with this phrase is due to King James Version syntax where both verbs apply to the object. A clearer reading would be “whosoever loveth (a lie) and (also) maketh a lie”, i.e. unrepentant liars.
The Parable of the Ten Virgins comes from Matthew 25. I won’t relate it; you can read about it here: (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parable_of_the_Ten_Virgins). “Foolish Virgins” are those unprepared for Jesus’ Second Coming. God/Smith/Rigdon is speaking in shorthand (as was Jesus) understandable by those who are “in the know” but not to outsiders.
February 6, 2017 at 7:10 pm
I had a mission president who used to drill into us the idea that we should ALWAYS read into it further whenever we see doubled verbs like that.
And Smith was often taking scripture passages well out of context in order to illustrate new points… such as “they without us should not be saved”
Treating it like a library of idioms that can be used for whatever points he wants to illustrate… it’s pretty smart if you’re going to make new scripture!
(Not that it’s hard once you get in a groove… haha )
February 10, 2017 at 7:18 am
Thanks, Gottfried, for explaining the Biblical references from this section. I have to admit, I kept saying “Come on, guys!” out loud this episode when Marie and Bryce weren’t quite getting there (though I like to think it was a “Come on!” of encouragement, rather than of frustration.)
To be fair, the King James Version is a mess. Now I’m curious, Marie, as to which translation of the Bible you’re familiar with from your church days? I just checked out the New International Version and the New Revised Standard Version of Revelation 22, and instead of the phrase “whosoever loveth and maketh a lie”, both these modern versions simply say, “all liars”. As for those foolish virgins, the NRSV makes them “bridesmaids”, but they’re still virgins in the NIV.
But the LDS church is married to the KJV (or, we might more jadedly say, they’re stuck with it), and that’s because of all these Biblical references in Mormon scriptures, here in the D&C especially, and the desire for consistency. It’s even worse when entire Mormon doctrines have evolved from Joseph Smith’s interpretation of weirdly phrased KJV passages. If the LDs church were to start using a modern Bible translation, suddenly several passages, which they currently cherry pick to show how the Bible supports their doctrines, would end up undermining the doctrines instead, because they would obviously no longer conform to them at all.
Elder Sean’s references to the Celestial, Terrestrial, and Telestial Kingdoms would be a prime example of what I’m talking about. But guys, really, I think any mention of these subdivisions of heaven, before we get to the glory which is D&C 76, is tantamount to a premature ejaculation. Can we all last a little longer?
February 10, 2017 at 3:20 pm
The Bible I have is the NRSV! My grandparents got it for me when I started Junior High. I had a picture Bible before that.
My dad (Baptist pastor) used NIV, however when I was around 9 there was a big kerfuffle in our congregation because one of the deacons decided that all versions other than NIV weren’t valid translations and of the devil (or something). Dad did a whole series of sermons about the history of the bible and why there are a bunch of different versions that all come from the same source. He had a big ol’ stack of Bibles that he left on the pulpit for all the different versions and editions he personally owned – at least 20 of them. For years he made a point of using different versions for every sermon. Around Christmas he’d break out a Greek translation.
February 10, 2017 at 3:34 pm
Since you’re always supposed to follow the counsel of a General Authority, I am now thinking about baseball. 😉
February 10, 2017 at 10:23 am
I love the “Parable of the Wise and Foolish Virgins.” It is so first century Palestine. Nowadays, if the bridegroom was that late, we’d drift on home and catch him in the morning, at which time the lamps would be a moot point.
February 10, 2017 at 3:24 pm
I just want to know who has the stamina to start a party at *midnight*. Excuse me, the only party that happens at midnight in my world is the one started by a preschooler falling out of bed and screaming his head off.
(21 year old me is horrified by this post.)